Blog

Navigation

The Lint Collector: The Bachelor, Take 2!

By Nora Zelevansky / January 11th, 2012

Screen shot 2012-01-10 at 8.01.16 PM

Phew.  Thank goodness I get to finally watch. It's been pure torture to wait!  Weirdly, it's also sort of like torture to watch.  But such is the complexity that is The Bachelor.

And we're off to Sonoma, a place that I love and I'm afraid they might taint.  I'm surprised that they let these chicks into wine country.  I'm surprised they let his HAIR into wine country too.  NOTE TO PRODUCERS: Paleeeeese stop styling his hair.  It's AWFUL.

Kacie B. has the first one-on-one date (yes, there are several Kacies).  She's cute and from Tennessee and yet another girl whose parents just made up the spelling of her name.

Courtney — the evil model — is hoping Kacie B. won't get the rose, which is not surprising.  I'm just a little shocked that she didn't start her sentence with "cause I'm a model."  Seriously, that should be a drinking game: Take a shot every time Courtney reminds us that she's a model, at least based on last week.  Why?  Cause she's a modeeel.

They get in a convertible Bronco, which I think is sort of the world's coolest car.  They're in Downtown Sonoma, which is just a quaint square.  I love it there.  Kacie B. says Ben brings out things in her that she "hasn't been in touch with in a while."  And I am starting to wonder if she's already about to say, "I'm falling for him."

Kacie B. says she has a secret to reveal: As a child, she … twirled a baton!  That's a secret?  She grabs a baton from the candy store.  Ben feels a little emasculated by twirling a baton, walking down the street.  And he should.  She's kinda boring and lame.  But whatever.  At least she's not crying in a bathroom.  They eat at The Girl & The Fig and I want to yell, "Order the burger!"

They talk about his dad.  She says their chemistry is natural.  I think it's non-existent, but Andrew (the hubby) says Ben F. just brings out the boring in people.  Time will tell!  She gets the rose.  They kiss.  Snoooooozeville.  They go to a theater — Is this going to be one of those humiliating private concerts?  Nope.  Home videos of her and her dad.  Why?  I have no idea.  These people barely know each other!  Why would it mean anything to them?

But obviously this is just to push Ben's buttons about his Dad.  Home videos etc.  He's literally about to start crying.  Then she is crying in a talking head.  I mean, this isn't as bad as the roast for insecure Ashley, but … buzz kill for a date.  She says, "She has found what could be a lifetime of love with Ben."  It's been 3 hours, people!

Back at the house, the group date card shows up.  I have no idea who is going because there are eleven of them and they're barely even familiar from last episode.  Ben says, "That's a lot of pairs of legs."  That's not at all superficial.

He's back in the town square again and they're doing a play.  Eek.  They "playwrights" are kids.  Couldn't be more PG, I guess.  They make the girls act like pigs, weasels and princesses.  They request that the ladies do "sexy dances" and "jog in slow motion." Tricky with no bra, Blakely.  She did not win praise from the kids.

Back at the house, Courtney also hates Lindzi, the horse girl who got the first impression rose last week.  Is there anyone she doesn't hate?

Back on the date, crazy Jenna — who lost her mind last week — has to wear a beard for her part.  Prettttty funny.  Turns out that there is an audience, including some of Ben's closest friends.  Do they not have something better to do?  (Who am I kidding.  I would be there in a hot second.)  Interesting though that some of his peeps will get an early impression of some of the women.

On a side note, is it weird to involve middle schoolers in The Bachelor?  Like are these kids going home and watching later episodes of Ben in a hot tub?  Well, never mind that — Ben basically strips on stage and it is just WEIRD.  The dental hygienist from Texas Nicki dressed as a donkey and she's super into him.  Jennifer with auburn hair from Oklahoma City wins the Oscar for best performance (as a weasel?).  The two blonds ask for kisses together because they got skipped during the play.  Really though?  At the same time?

The girls are not feeling Blakely (the VIP cocktail waitress — really, that's her job).  Apparently, she's aggressive.  She looks a little like she's in drag and she's got a LOT of teeth.  I'll give them that.  Ben starts talking to her and says she seems "grounded."  Um. Really?  Can you not see her CRAZY eyes?  She's 34, so they call her a "cougar."  No comment.

Someone named Samantha is hiding in the bathroom because she hates Blakely.

Back at the house, Courtney gets the one-on-one date.  Kacie B. reads the date card, which says something about spinning a bottle.  "How does that taste coming out of your mouth?" says Courtney.  Um.  The other girls don't even know what to say.  Cause I'm a model …

And the first hot tub kiss goes to Jennifer "The Weasel."  He's getting kind of down and dirty with her, so I think he'd be sort of wrong not to give her the rose.

Blakely announces that she's a Scorpio.  I am too.  Now, I sort of wish she hadn't said that.  Second hot tub kiss goes to the old lady!  And so does the rose.  The girls are maaaaaaad.  Jennifer cries and say she wants to fall in love, which I feel like is always a bad sign.  You should want the actual person, not to be in love with some amorphous idea.

The one-on-one date starts and Ben brings his dog Scotch.  If that dog has any instincts, it will whimper and hide from Courtney.  Every girl in this house is wearing knee-high boots and shorts on her date.

And it's the season's first picnic!  Courtney says she hasn't been asked out in a while.  I think that's because, when you're doing coke at a club with whatever dude has bottle service, it's not officially a date.

She is pretty though.  Her hand is on his knee.  He says he has his career and is just looking for someone to share his life with and that she probably feels the same way.  Yes.  Courtney would like to model for the rest of her life.  Or at least until she's a 34-year-old cougar like Blakely.  Then she can just kill herself cause she's so damn old.

Ben loves Courtney and she is doing a good performance of normal, but mostly I think he's blinded by the fact that she's hotter than him.  Ben asks, "Is this too good to be true?"  Yes, Ben.  It is.  He parties hard and now he is growing up blah, blah, blah.  I think she's bored out of her mind, but pretending to be interested.  All I can think about is how, even if he picked her, one day he will watch this show and see her say to Kacie B., "How does that taste coming out of your mouth?"

At the end, she poses with her rose in front of camera and cackle — no joke.  She's so doing this for her "career."

Time for the cocktail party and OMG his hair looks SO deeply bad!  Lindzi tries to sell him on her being a farm girl.  Blakely — who is safe this week — breaks up Samantha's one-on-one time and she's pissed.  Apparently, they call Blakley, JUGS.

OMG — This has gotten looooong.  Let me sum it up: Jenna is crying again.  They blame Blakely.  It has nothing to do with JUGS, but what can you do?  She's the scapegoat and then she's crying.  Ben finds her and tells her to "collect herself."  Was that supposed to make her feel BETTER?  OMG — everyone is crying.  Jenna is under the covers on a bed!!!

Rose ceremony time: Crazy Jenna and the girl with the skunk hair go home.  I think it's a good thing.  Jenna needs to get home and find a psychiatrist STAT.  See you next week (cause I'm a model …) when someone either passes our or dies during the rose ceremony.

xo – N.

NYC (& BEYOND): Jasmine(!) Lip Glaze You Can’t Live Without

By Nora Zelevansky / September 30th, 2011

Screen shot 2011-09-30 at 6.11.29 AM
Okay, okay, this time I've been so horribly remiss in posting that I can't even apologize.  How many times can I abuse you poor LINTERS and then try to offer you flowers?  (Metaphorically speaking, of course.  I don't actually HAVE any flowers for any of you.)

That said, I got too obsessed with the above Korres Lip Butter Glaze not to spread the good word.  First of all, who the heck ever heard of a "Jasmine" flavored lip glaze?  Yes, please!  (It does come in other tints/scents, but why would you want that?)

Second, two words: LIP BUTTER.  I mean, you know how I feel about body butter, people, and lipgloss.  Just think of the the level of euphoria!  It goes on like silk, it STAYS on like heaven and it smells divine.  AND — in these po' ass times — it only costs $14, so you can buy it without guilt.

Which is good.  Because with guilt comes flowers.  And that's just an added expense.

xo – N.

EVERYWHERE: THE BEST SALE!!!!

By Nora Zelevansky / June 30th, 2011

Vnv077772681_coastal~blueparchment_small

Since I'm a HUGE Vince fan and I recommended the Natalie bathing suit from Anthropologie and it was (gasp!) all sold out (boo hissssss!), I needed to tell you guys about this HUGE Vince summer sale for BOYS and GIRLS that's happening.

It's crazy!  You can get this leather jacket for $300-ish instead of $800-ish:

Vnv010690220_saddle_large

Shut up.  Shut up.

xo – N.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF TUESDAY [THE BEST BATHING SUIT]

By Nora Zelevansky / June 28th, 2011

Screen shot 2011-06-24 at 12.36.25 PM

Okay, I'm truly sorry not to be posting a Bachelorette recap today, but I'm off on a trip – first to San Diego and then to Vancouver and Victoria – and will be watching it late.

I'll report back on all that when I return, BUT, in the meantime, I thought I at least owed you some kind of nugget.  Above, behold the Natalie One-Piece from Anthropologie, which I KID YOU NOT is the best fitting, most flattering bathing suit that I have ever encountered in my entire life.

Seriously.

It comes in multiple colors (I have the polkadots!) and it's all old Hollywood and stuff, but best of all, it seems to be on sale right now.  I feel like I should buy 10 to wear over the next decade.  That's how good this thing looks on.

I'm sure you'll get on swimmingly! (Couldn't resist.)

xo – N.

LA/SF/NYC/EVERYWHERE: CHEAP EATS (& STUFF)

By Nora Zelevansky / November 10th, 2010

Screen shot 2010-11-09 at 11.12.09 PM

So, I was having lunch at Toast with some PR buds and some very interesting factoids came up.  You guys know I'm a fan of Lifebooker for beauty discounts.

Did you know that in addition to Groupon, you can sign up at BlackboardEats.com and get discounts on meals at restaurants all over town.  And not just lamo places.  Real spots. One girl said she got 30%-off at Street last week.  They even offer suggestions on what to eat and reviews.

Yup.

I just signed up.  I mean, for reals.  So, if you aren't quite sure, I'll try to keep you posted on any meal discount successes!

xo – N.

P.S. Speaking of discounts, starting today on Gilt HOME, D.L. & Co. goods are more than 50%-off (and I am obsessed with these, but they are usually SO out of the price range) and Gilt is having a sale on H2Pro flat irons too.

It's true what George Bush said.  The Internets are a crazy thing.

xo – N.

SONOMA (HEALDSBURG): H2 Oh! [Spoonbar at H2 Hotel]

By Nora Zelevansky / November 8th, 2010

Screen shot 2010-11-07 at 4.04.19 PMScreen shot 2010-11-07 at 4.02.52 PM

How pretty are these cocktails?  This is long overdue once again, but my camera/computer sitch is only just back in commission.

This makes twice in the town of Healdsburg that I've had cocktails that have blown my mind.  First was at Cyrus, where I think the drinks were conceived by the same genius, Scott Beattie.  Second, well, let me explain:

Screen shot 2010-11-07 at 4.04.06 PM

Sistah C. & I went to Spoonbar at the new cool kid hotel on the square h2 (which is owned by the Hotel Healdsburg people).  Their other hotel is swankier and has been around for a bit, but this has a truly eco and youthful vibe.

With that in mind, h2's restaurant has created this bonkers mixology program, which includes the Cucumber Collins (see left above) with a mixture of fresh and pickled cucumbers and yuzu and the Siddartha (above right) with Thai coconut milk, lemon verbena and St. Germain Elderflower Liqueur.

Pair drinks like those with a sampler of appetizers like the below with local cheese, fried risotto balls, spicy lamb meatballs, fried olives and house cured ones and you've found Nirvana.  Don't forget the oysters!

Screen shot 2010-11-07 at 4.02.42 PM

Not to sound like a character on You Can't Do That On Television, but usually I hate all things liver. However, apparently that truth is overruled by how much I LOVE olives and all things friend, because these olives stuffed with chicken liver just SLAYED me.

SO. DAMN. GOOD.

And you thought wine country was all about wine.

Happy Monday!

xo – N.

LA (AND BEYOND): SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION [TOP CHEF FOR TRAVEL + LEISURE)

By Nora Zelevansky / September 2nd, 2010

Picture 3

So, I've decided to take time out of my busy beach lolling schedule to actually write a post.

What?  There may be a hurricane coming.  I need to take what sun and Atlantic Ocean swimming I can get, mofos.

ANYWAY … Travel + Leisure posted my story about the bestest Top Chef restaurants today, so thought you all might like to check it out.

Tune in next week, when I'm back in black.  (That means in LA and writing the blog again, if you didn't understand.)

xo – N.

CRUMPLED TWENTY: THE BEST WAY TO WIN **3** BAGS [REBECCA MINKOFF]

By Nora Zelevansky / August 13th, 2010

Picture 2

The Best Link Today:

Hi Guys.  So, I feel like this really doesn't require a lot of fanfare or explanation: Go onto Refinery 29 and you can enter to win 3(!) Rebecca Minkoff bags.  I mean, are you KIDDING me?  Like, sign me up times twelve!

If any LINTERS happen to win, do let us know so we can live vicariously!!

xoxo – N.

NORTHERN CALI (SONOMA): THE BEST REASON TO GET UP IN TIME FOR BREAKFAST [Farmhouse Inn]

By Nora Zelevansky / August 4th, 2010

Picture 18

I'm in heaven.  Yup.  Like in the song.  And, for that reason, I'm going to make this snappy and then return to luxuriating in my heavenly digs.

I am currently up in Northern Cali, researching a story, at my most favorite new place in the world: The Farmhouse Inn.  Suffice it to say, there are beautiful gardens all over.  We were welcomed with sparkling water infused with herbal syrups.  By the front desk, there are bowls of homemade bath salts, milks, scrubs and even soaps laid out in a loaf to be sliced like bread–all just for the taking to be used in the room's enormous tub.  There are cookies delivered every afternoon.  And today I'll be experiencing a spa treatment that I am pretty sure will blow my mind.  And the room … THE ROOM!  I'm deeply in love.  I'm staying in a Barn Suite, which is just decorated in my most favorite way.  It's modern and contemporary, but also organic and comfortable with an indoor/outdoor fireplace, Adirondack chairs on the private garden-side outside area, a steam shower and a HEAVENLY bed.  I won't even start on the wine and the s'mores, cooked at your leisure over the communal fire pit.

I never want to leave.

Thus, I am signing off now.  No offense, but I'm off to pretend the real world doesn't exist and that I just live in a universe where everything smells like lavender and someone else bakes me treats.  Treats like the famed daily breakfast here (see below).

Picture 19

Yup, they have famous mascarpone & berry french toast.

See?  I'm in heaven.  Wish you were here!  But in your own room.  This one is MINE.

xo – N.

LA (AND BEYOND): ODE TO THE BEST PAIR OF EVERYDAY JEANS. PERIOD. AND A SHOPPING EVENT!

By Nora Zelevansky / May 13th, 2010

JEANS2

LADIES & GENTLEMAN, I have in my possession the PERFECT pair of everyday jeans.  At least, I did last week.

See, although I suspected that my favorite pair of 7 For All Mankind Straight Leg blues were in a hospice situation, I was still stunned and disoriented when they finally ripped their way into oblivion.

What does one do when their favorite pair of jeans–the perfectly worn and comfy, but still somehow flattering ones rocked each and everyday for everything from dinners to Sunday lounging–give out?  This was sadly not a Denim Doctors kind of situation either.  They ripped in the tush, but even if I fixed that, they'd rip any day in both knees and thighs.  That's how much I loved them.  That's how thin they got.

They were perfectly because they were narrow and straight-legged, but not skinny, so not trendy, just ideal.

I wore them in Scotland (see above and disregard the awkward wink or twitch going on).  Just look how beautiful they are and innocent of their eventual fate!  They look so young and carefree then.

I wore them while getting ready on my wedding day … apparently with crazy eyes …

JEANS 

I wore them on my honeymoon …

JEANS3

And even on hikes …

JEANS4

Okay, you can barely see them, I realize.  But I know they're there and that's what's important!  See?  I don't even have enough pictures of them!

ANYWAY, I wore them nonstop for YEARS.  And they lasted beautifully.

Luckily, 7FAM still makes the same cut and I think the wash is the same, but I'm not sure?

Picture 4

I'm not gonna lie.  In person, they look darker than I remember.  But then again, I'm used to a version that's several years old.

I'm already wearing my new pair around town, because favorite everyday, everything jeans are not something I can live as successfully without.  And I'm trying to keep the faith that the dark color will soon fade and that the slightly longer length will shrink in the wash.

I just feel fortunate that the style still exists because otherwise I might have had to cry.

You can check out versions of my new pair and also the launch of a new Jonathon Adler for 7FAM collection for men & women at in-store shopping events–think sweets and champagne–from 3pm to 6pm this Saturday on Robertson in L.A., Dallas' Northpark Center and Miami's Aventura Mall.  The S.F. event is on next Saturday, May 22nd.  (Preview pics below!)

Let's all poor out a little champagne this weekend for my fallen jeans.  May these new ones conform as well as the old.

xo – N.

JA1_Girl-1
JA2_Girl-2 

P.S. Does anyone else think I need to dye my hair back to red?  It looks so much better in these pictures!