By Nora Zelevansky / July 15th, 2009


Dude.  Is this genius or what?

At least for the other clumsy asses out there.

I was once a bit drunk at an annual day long wine tasting with an ex-boyfriend's family, when his sister accidentally spilled a glass of red wine on another woman's black leather purse.  She panicked, gushed apologies and proceeded to sop/wipe up the mess with a white cloth napkin.

Only it wasn't a cloth napkin.  It was my new beige cotton sweater, but I was too frozen in shock (and, well, intoxication) to let her know.  It took her about 20 seconds to realize her mistake and she began gushing apologies in my direction.  Of course, she intended no harm and was super sweet, but what could we do?

We got home (well, back to their house) and the guy's kind mother sprayed some stuff (I think that industrial Fuller sitch in the hot pink spray can) on the stains and MIRACULOUSLY they all came out.  Kind of crazy.  But, all I'm saying is, I wouldn't have even stressed that shit, if I'd known that this Wine Away stuff existed.

I'm going to pour red wine everywhere.  Seriously.  Why not?  A dribble here, a dribble there.  It's genius!  Genius.  Just like me.  But mostly when I'm not intoxicated.  Which is from 10am to 1pm on Thursdays and alternate Mondays.  Just KIDDING.  Jeez.  I'm not even intoxicated right now.  Seriously.  Unless Cherry Coke Zero can make you buzzed, which–with my bizarrely low tolerance for caffeine–might actually be plausible.  Am I slurring?

xo – N.