By Nora Zelevansky / April 12th, 2010

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Guess who's back? Back again. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back!

Hmm … that sounds a lot better when Eminem says it.  Maybe if I also mentioned a drug addict mother and ex-wife Kim?

No offense, Mom.  I don't really think you're a crackhead.  I'm just selling you out to sound cool.  Eh—what do you care?  Are you even reading this?  MOM?  How could you?  I'm like this because of you!

Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back!

Did it work better that time, now that I added mommy angst?  No?  Oh well, screw all ya'll.  You just don't understand people like me and Slim Shady.

ANYWAY, I'm back from India and I can't even begin to tackle that situation with this jet-lag (which I will also reserve the right to blame for this incomprehensible post).  Suffice it to say that the trip was amazing, but also EXHAUSTING.  You know when you just need a vacation from your vacation or overseas jaunt?

That's what makes the timing of this post so perfect!  Today marks the beginning of Spa Week nationally, which means that spas around the country (in Arizona, California, Colorado, D.C., Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, Virgina, Washington and even dear old Canada) are offering special $50 spa treatments (for services like facials and massages that are usually like $150-$200).

Basically, there are participating spas in all the states where there are Real Housewives spin-offs.  No, I'm kidding.  They would never do Real Housewives of Canada.  How boring would THAT be?  They'd like be fighting over maple syrup.

But seriously, you have to go to the website, find a local spa and go to one because I just spent like twenty years typing that list of states … and Canada.  You think I'm kidding.

Anyway, a lot of high-end kind of awesome spas are involved, so it's definitely worthwhile to check it out.  And, while you're at it, grab a rubdown for me.  Meanwhile, I'll be passed out, trying to get over my jet lag and some moisture back in my skin.

Guess who's back?  Back again.   Has anyone seen Hailie?

I am so tired.

xo – N.