Ya'll know I'm a sucker for Television Without Pity (why do I suddenly have a southern twang?).

ANYWAY, they've gone above and beyond, offering up "Top Chef: Season 5 Misfires" for all crazed Top Chef NYC fans to enjoy.  (Can the above picture be added to the list of misfires, please? What is going on with Gail's dress?)  TWP is completely on point, as ushe.  And I'd like to offer up my top 3 list items from their larger bunch:

1. "The Guest Judge's Cookbooks are not Legitimate Prizes."  Seriously.

2. "The Mystery That Is Leah"–Hallelujah!  The wait is finally over.  Keeping her around was so clearly a producorial (um, made up word?) choice.  So over her ass.  She should have gone home instead of Jeff.  She should have gone home instead of Jamie (who I kind of didn't like, but it turns out that we took the same SAT prep course in NYC, so I had to root for her).  Anyway, I'll go out on a limb and say I kind of can't stand Hosea too. He looks like Play-Doh.

3. "Toby Young's 'Jokes'"–Okay, first of all I miss Gail.  Second of all, there is way too much male energy up there–it's like Tom is making decisions unchecked. Third of all, has anyone ever tried so damn hard to be funny and been less clever?  I mean, he is TERRIBLE off the cuff and should probably stick to writing.  They could have at least used Queer Eye's Ted Allen.

Actually, I feel so strongly that I'd like to list this grievance twice:

4. "Toby Young's 'Jokes.'"  Okay. 

Also, I'd like to add my own misfire to the list as well:

5. I usually love him, but why is Tom on the rag this season?  The rag, I tell you!

That's all.

xo – N.

P.S. I know the rumors are that Tom is gay, but I have such a hard time believing that.  Didn't he have the hots for Season 3's Casey?  He got all giddy around her and actually nicknamed her too.  I dunno. I'm just not quite a believer yet.